April Fools... A Day Early

I came to work today to find this email in my inbox:

Tracie, due to a new federal law regarding pesticides, our catalog is now in violation to The Spanish Worker Right to Know laws.
We may have to decide not to print a catalog that would list pesticides.
Could you please start translating our catalog into Spanish. We have until May 1st to comply.
Before you start call me, so that we can assure that this project is handle properly.
Thanks

My first thought was WOW! This is great I get to translate something! Then I looked at the date. Our catalog is HUNDREDS of pages long! How was I going to do that in a month? So I called my boss and told him we might have to consider investing in some translation software and I can edit it from there. He told me that was a good idea but did not think that Anne (the VP) would go for spending money on that. Then went on to say that since April fools was on a weekend he didn't know how he could really get me so this was it!

It was very funny. He got me good.

The CD Player That Controls the Office

I have a radio at work and that thing gets me through the days. I cannot express enough how singing along with Madonna helps me sort and invoice soil tests or plan seminars. I seriously could not handle this job without the musical stress relief.

I have a problem with my radio though. The CD player does not always want to cooperate with me. I have probably close to 200 CD's at work with me so I am never at a lack for something I would want to hear. Unfortunately my CD player likes to have some say in what I play during the day.

For example, just this morning, I put a Lassie Foundation CD in the player and the machine told me "No"!! Are you kidding me? I took the disk out, wiped it off and blew inside the machine then I tried again. "No" is what I was told! So, I pulled out a Sara Evans CD and that worked! I guess my radio wanted to hear country this morning but I was not going to let technology rule my morning's listening preferences. Oh no I wasn't! So, I put another Lassie CD in the player and that one worked. But, I left my office to go upstairs and missed the whole experience so when I returned I hit the play button again and the machine refused to play the CD! It read the number of tracks and it teased me by attempting track 1. The display read "Track !" Then, suddenly, before any music played the machine changed its mind! The disk stopped spinning and the display returned to the total number of tracks. So, I took that CD out, tried Radiohead and the machine refused that one too. I was thinking "This is the Bends. What can you possibly have against this album?" and I was really tempted to ask my CD player what it felt like playing but thought that would make me sound foolish so I pulled out a Madonna CD and the machine approved and that is what is playing now. Go figure.

We'll see what I am allowed to listen to next.

Keiler

Our family dog has been limping very badly. We all assumed she hurt her foot running through the yard. She likes to run along the fence with our neighbor's german shepherd.

Well, this past week she started limping worse and would stand holding one foot up not wanting to put any pressure on it.

All of us took turns at some point over the weekend to inspect her foot but we could not see anything. Keiler has also been abnormally sluggish lately. She is usually an extremely energetic Rottweiler. She thinks she is still a puppy and does not realize she is pushing 9 years old! If you saw her you would think she was a puppy too because she still has a "baby" face.

My parents finally took my advice and called the vet. He came over yesterday (yeah, Keiler's doctor makes house calls) and gave us the sad news that our little girl has bone cancer.

My mom was crying all night long. She couldn't look at the dog without crying.
It was a sad night.

Scrapbooking Party

I completely forgot to write about the scrapbooking party I hosted last weekend!!

A friend I work with named Elisabeth sells scrapbooking and stamping supplies through a company called "Close to My Heart". She really got me hooked.

So, I decided to host a party for her. The location? That is the very funny part about this whole story. Because neither of us felt our homes would be an ideal spot to host a party, Elisabeth found a funeral home that had a banquet room that they could rent to us for a very low rate. You did read that correctly. A funeral home.

The party was a success and I was able to get $100 worth of free merchandise!

Now, can you imagine the only thing more odd than having a scrapbooking party at a funeral home? It would have to be having a bridal shower at a funeral home! And that's what happened there. The room was still decorated for the bridal shower that was held there the night before!

Again!

Teacher Mike called again last night. I should have just told him that it is not going ot work but I didn't. We talked for a little bit then he said he'd like to get together for dinner but can't this weekend because he's really busy but would like to get together next weekend and will call me later. I just said "okay."

Why did I do that?? I should have just told him that it is not going to work.

Teacher Mike?

So that teacher called me this weekend. I don't get him. He acted like everything was fine on our date and that he was happy to talk to me.

I'll give you a synopsis of our dates.

Date 1: Mike says "I'd like to offer to pay for our meal but you can leave the tip"

Date 2: Mike takes me to a movie. Steps in front of me to get to the ticket window and orders to tickets. The girl tell him the price, he turns to me and looks expectantly. I just say "Thank you". Afterward we go to Ruby Tuesday's for dessert. He makes a point to tell the waiter we only want water, dessert and no coffee. We get identically priced desserts. The bill comes he asks me to pay $8. I pay with a 5 and 3 ones. He has a 10 and takes my 3 ones!!! He is a math guy!!! I'm sure he realized what he did!!

Do I really want to go out with this guy again? I don't want to sound like I expect the guy to pay for me or to spend a lot of money. I don't. But, I want to be treated with chivalry. That has not happened at all.

Where to Begin

So, my parents have a somewhat annoying friend who goes to my church. She found out that I have been attending the singles group and asked if I would mind telling this guy she knows about it. I said sure but I am not hte best contact seeing that I just started going myself and do not know a lot of people but I can do my best.

Well, the guy called and got me at a really bad time. I was sound asleep and he called on my parents' landline on top of it! That line is not very good because the squirrels are always eating the wires. So, I could barely hear him and I was not fully awake. I did the best I could to offer him some help but I didn't know the answers to all of his questions. I suggested he go to the website to see what was going on on what day.

Yesterday, Trish (the annoying woman) called my mom to tell her that I offended Peter (her friend's son) because I was not very friendly. That really upset me! First of all, I answered the phone. Trish could have told me this herself. She did not need to tell my mom on me. I'm 27 years old! Secondly, she had a lot of nerve even asking me to take this role when I don't know what I am doing myself because I am new too. I offered to help him when I talked to him and could not answer all of his questions but offered a solution! Thirdly, he caught me at a bad time. It was really stuggling with extreme fatigue and really just needed to sleep or rest because I could barely function. How am I supposed to be expected to be myself when it is taking all of my energy just to talk??? Lastly, she informed my mom that Peter was going to be calling that night. I had plans! I was going to go to church but I had to stay home so that it wouldn't look like I was avoiding him!! He never called either. Drive me nuts!

I am a very friendly person and of course I would help anyone out. I did all I could but didn't have all the answers he needed. Maybe he expected me to tell him that I knew everyone and would be happy to help out but I was honest and told him that I am new too and I did not know what they were going to do for St. Patty's day!

Can you tell I am annoyed??

The Killers

The Sam Goody at the Plymouth Meeting Mall is closing causing the merchandise to sell for significantly less. This past week I bought at least 15 new CD's. I couldn't resist.

Now, here is my point. One of the CD's added to my vast collection is The Killers. People, I cannot get enough of this CD. I wish I could just begin to tell you how much I enjoy this CD. It is seriously my new favorite. I don't know why it took me so long to get it.

Well, now I have taken a break from country and am listening to this CD non-stop. Seriously! I cannot remember the last time I liked a CD so much. It was probably that Liz Phair I got back in 2004 (I got her 2005 release in my spree too by the way) or maybe it was Nirvana's Nevermind. Doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that I love this CD so much. Every song is great! I even had to download a song as my ringtone. One song I cannot get enough of is "Somebody Told Me" (that's the one that is my new ringtone). I will be in my car and have played that song on repeat for my entire 40 minute commute to work and have done it on my way home too! Have you ever heard a song that was so great that when it finished the only thing you could utter was "Damn!"? It's crazy. Also, have you ever listened to a song that overtook you so completely that you felt out of breath after hearing it? That is what I feel after it finishes. Unbelievable. Actually, the whole CD energizes me so much that I feel my heart racing everytime it is on. When I change the disk I can't stop thinking of how I wish I was listening to the Killers.

This mornimg, I warned those in the offices near me that they are going to hear this CD pretty often (as if they haven't noticed the past week) and namely "Somebody Told Me". Elizabeth came into my office about an hour ago to tell me that she keeps singing "Somebody told me you have a boyfriend..." to herself so I graciously changed my CD but after a couple hours I needed to put the Killers back on.

It's crazy people but I think you will get just as much enjoyment out of this CD if you had it.

Paul Walker

This is reason to see Eight Below

Eight Below

So, this weekend I had a 2nd date with a teacher named Mike. We saw the movie Eight Below. I should first say that I am not really all that into animal movies but this was pretty good. It was a Disney movie and, as such, was very predictable but it was still a nice story.

I can assure you that there is not going to be a 3rd date with teacher Mike. I won't go into specifics but I will say that chivalry is not dead gentlemen.

Back to the movie now. Paul Walker is my new favorite heartthrob actor. He is probably the reason I enjoyed watching the movie so much. I could have sat and looked at him for several more hours. There you go ladies! That's your inspiration to go to this movie! Paul Walker. You won't regret it. Trust me.